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Friday
Dec202013

Wastebook honorable mentions: more "federally funded" CCP blog posts!

"Doh!" (Click on me!)Okay, okay, I know shouldn't be gloating that my 15x10^3-mins-of-fame, nonfederally-funded "tea party science literacy" post helped reveal the meticulous care with which Sen. Coburn's federally funded staff compiled his annual "Wastebook."

For the truth is, I really dodged a bullet on this one!

Included very near the top of the "honorable mention" appendix for this yr's Wastebook were three additional "federally funded studies" featured in this blog!  

If the diligent member of Coburn's staff who compiled the book had caught his or her innocent, completely understandable error (true, there was nothing in the "tea party science literacy" post that said it was "federally funded," and only someone skipping every other sentence would have missed the statement that the data came from a CCP study of vaccine risk perceptions; but there really should have been a big warning in flashing neon at the top-- "NOT FEDERALLY FUNDED!" My bad!) & included any of these other three, I, rather than Sen. Coburn, Greta Van Sustern & "former Congressman" Allen West, would now be the one who looks like a complete idiot! 

All I can say is, "Phew!"

But in the spirit of full disclosure, here's a brief run down of the disturbingly wasteful CCP blog posts that made the Wastebook honorable mention list:

1. Synbioipad.  A "framing" study designed to see if fusing (literally) synthetic biology (cool math-problem-solving E. coli!)  into a wildly popular Apple product could head off public fear of this new technology (hey-- it worked with the "nanoipad"!).

Cost: $14.32.  

Agency sponsor: Department of Commerce.  

Result: None; subjects failed to complete the study after contracting unanticipated gastrointestinal symptoms that required hospitalization.

 

2. "Bumblebee--my first drone!"  Experiment to counteract instinctive disgust sensibilities of egalitarian individualists toward drones by disguising them as a delightfully fun children's "toy."  

Cost: $125,000,000.14.  

Agency sponsor: NSA

Result: Complete failure.

 

3. Macrotechnology risk perceptions.  Exploratory study to determine whether there was anything that white hierarchical individualist males are not afraid of.

Cost: - $13,000,000 (amount of fine imposed on CCP Lab by EPA). 

Agency sponsor: EEOC.

Result: Experimental stimulus ate Akron Ohio

 

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Reader Comments (3)

I might be the only one, but I'm definitely chuckling over here. Well done, Dan.

December 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Just in case someone from Fox News or Coburn's staff is reading - I want to make it clear that some of my comments are not federally-funded.

Yes, I am paid very handsomely to submit comments to Dan's blog - but on occasion I do post on my free time.

December 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

NOooooo. No no no. There's got to be some mistake. This is a liberal plot. Oh, no no no. It was a setup. Dan Rather is involved. Oh, no, wait, I know - its a fake. yes. Yes yes yes. No, wait...

December 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFrankL

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